Dr. Pendleton: DR. McNAMARA,
YOU WANTED TO SEE ME?
Sean: DR. PENDLETON,
PLEASE PUT ON YOUR MASK.
Dr. Pendleton: OH. SORRY.
I HAVEN'T BEEN
IN TOO MANY SURGERIES.
Sean: THAT'S EXACTLY THE REASON
I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE
TO OBSERVE TODAY.
IT'S VITAL YOU FULLY UNDERSTAND
THE RISKS AND REWARDS OF ALL OUR
PROCEDURES IF YOU'RE GOING
TO COUNSEL OUR PATIENTS.
Dr. Pendleton: ARE WE DOING
A BREAST AUGMENTATION TODAY?
Sean: ACTUALLY,
WE'RE CORRECTING ONE.
Soundtrack: * YOU MAKE ME FEEL
SO YOUNG *
Dr. Pendleton: JESUS, SHE LOOKS
LIKE MURRAY FELTMAN.
Sean: THIS PATIENT RECEIVED
"C" IMPLANTS A MONTH AGO.
BEFORE THE GELS COULD SET
PROPERLY, HER ABUSIVE BOYFRIEND
PUSHED HER AGAINST A WALL
SO HARD THAT THE IMPLANT
RUPTURED THROUGH THE CAPSULAR
WALL.
WE'RE REPAIRING THE DAMAGE
AND THE CAPSULAR WALL PRO BONO.
LIZ, HOW DEEP'S THE PATIENT?
Marie: IT'S MARIE...
AND SHE'S READY WHEN YOU ARE.
Sean: UH...SORRY.
LIZ WAS OUR PREVIOUS
ANESTHESIOLOGIST.
WE BEGIN BY CUTTING
INTO THE NIPPLE.
Soundtrack: * ARE JUST LIKE
A COUPLE OF TOTS,
RUNNING ACROSS... *
Sean: OH, SHIT.
Soundtrack: * ...A MEADOW,
PICKING UP LOTS OF... *
Christian: GOOD HIRE, SEAN.
Sean: WHAT'S WRONG?
Christian: OTHER THAN
THE NEW MANDATE
THAT ALL PATIENTS HAVE TO BE
PSYCHOLOGICALLY SCREENED
AND APPROVED BY BOTH OF US?
I HAVE A CONSULT IN MY OFFICE.
STEP IN WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED.
Soundtrack: * FLING TO BE FLUNG,
EVEN WHEN I'M... *
Sean: MS. DANTE, TELL ME WHAT
YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF.
Ms. Dante: WELL, IT'S NOT THAT
I DON'T LIKE MYSELF.
IT'S JUST THAT I DON'T WANT
TO LOOK LIKE HER ANYMORE.
Second Ms. Dante: YEAH, AND I
DON'T WANT TO LOOK LIKE HER,
EITHER.
SEE, WE'VE MADE THIS AGREEMENT.
First Ms. Dante: I WANT TO
CHANGE MY FACE.
Second Ms. Dante: AND I WANT
TO CHANGE MY BODY.
WE WERE THINKING IT WOULD
BE SO GREAT IF ONE OF US
COULD WEAR A MINISKIRT
AND NOT FEEL SELF-CONSCIOUS
ABOUT OUR CHICKEN LEGS.
SO I'D LIKE BIGGER CALVES,
AND I'D ALSO LIKE TO GO
UP TO A "C" CUP.
First Ms. Dante: OH, AND I WAS
THINKING THAT MAYBE I COULD HAVE
HER EARS, SEE, 'CAUSE THEY
DON'T STICK OUT LIKE OURS DO.
SEE?
Second Ms. Dante: SEE?
First Ms. Dante: AND I LIKE
HER NOSE.
THAT IS JENNIFER GARNER.
Second Ms. Dante: SHE KICKS ASS.
First Ms. Dante: SHE SO
KICKS ASS.
I TORE THAT PICTURE OUT OF
TEEN VOGUE MAGAZINE SO YOU GUYS
COULD COPY IT.
Sean: UH, MS. DANTE...
MS. DANTE...
I'D LIKE YOU TO COME BACK
LATER IN THE WEEK AND MEET
DR. PENDLETON,
OUR ON-SITE PSYCHOLOGIST.
Christian: INTERESTINGLY ENOUGH,
SEAN, MANDI AND RANDI HAVE
ALREADY GIVEN ME THE CONTACT
INFORMATION OF THEIR OWN
PSYCHOLOGIST.
Mandi: YEAH, AND SHE'S
COMPLETELY COOL WITH THE FACT
THAT WE'RE SICK AND TIRED
OF GOING THROUGH OUR LIVES BEING
MISTAKEN FOR EACH OTHER.
EVEN OUR OWN FATHER
CAN'T EVEN TELL US APART.
Christian: MANDI AND RANDI ARE
GOING TO THE UNIVERSITY OF MIAMI
IN THE FALL, AND THEY BELIEVE
THAT NOW IS THE PERFECT TIME
FOR THEM TO ESTABLISH THEIR OWN
SINGULAR IDENTITIES.
Sean: NOT TO PLAY DEVIL'S
ADVOCATE, BUT HAVE YOU TRIED
LESS DRASTIC MEASURES?
FOR INSTANCE, MAYBE STYLING
YOUR HAIR DIFFERENTLY.
Mandi: DIDN'T WORK.
I MEAN, PEOPLE STILL CONFUSE
ME WITH RANDI.
WE EVEN WENT AS FAR
AS TO GET TATTOOS.
Randi: AND THEY WERE
PRETTY MUCH WORTHLESS.
Christian: WHY
WERE THEY WORTHLESS?
Randi: WELL...
WE REALIZED THAT PEOPLE COULD
ONLY USE THEM TO TELL US APART
IF WE'RE NAKED.
Christian: GOD, IT'S GOOD
TO BE BACK.
* AHH *
* MAKE ME BEAUTIFUL *
* MAKE ME
A PERFECT SOUL,
A PERFECT MIND,
A PERFECT FACE,
A PERFECT
LIFE *
Sean: HEADS UP.
Matt: W-WHAT'S THIS?
Sean: IT'S A PROPHYLACTIC, MATT.
Matt: WELL, YEAH,
I KNOW WHAT IT IS, DAD.
WHY'D YOU GIVE IT TO ME?
Sean: YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT YOUR
GIRL'S REACTION TO YOUR FORESKIN
IN THE FIRST TIME, RIGHT?
WELL, YOU RESPONSIBLY SLIP THIS
ON WHEN THAT TIME COMES...
SHE WON'T EVEN KNOW.
ONCE YOU GET YOUR SEA LEGS,
YOU CAN BE CONFIDENT ENOUGH
TO INITIATE A CONVERSATION
ABOUT WHAT FORESKIN IS AND HOW
IT REALLY WON'T AFFECT
HER PLEASURE.
Annie: HOW'S IT LOOK NOW?
Sean: HEY, THAT LOOKS GREAT.
JUST WANT TO WRITE
SOMETHIN' ON THE TOP...
GOOD MORNING.
Julia: MORNING.
WHAT YOU GUYS DRAWING
OVER THERE?
Annie: IT'S SO WE CAN FIND
FRISKY.
Sean: DON'T WORRY, HONEY.
HE'LL SHOW UP.
JULES, THAT SMELL IS TERRIBLE.
WE GOTTA GET A PLUMBER OUT HERE
TO FIX THE TOILET.
Julia: IT'S THE ENTIRE
SEPTIC SYSTEM.
IT'S COMPLETELY BACKED UP.
Sean: WELL, CAN YOU GET SOMEONE
OUT HERE THIS WEEK?
Julia: SURE, SEAN.
CAN YOU PICK UP
THE DRY CLEANING TODAY?
Sean: SURE.
[SIGHS]
ARE YOU GETTIN' THE JUMP
ON EASTER, JULES?
Julia: I'M STARTING A NEW
BUSINESS WITH SUZANNE.
Sean: CRAZY SUZANNE?
Julia: CREATIVE SUZANNE.
Sean: HUH.
Matt: UM...
UH, WHAT KIND OF BUSINESS?
Julia: THEY'RE GIFT BASKETS
FOR WOMEN, AND, UH, THEY'RE
VERY POPULAR RIGHT NOW.
THERE'S A REAL MARKET FOR THEM.
Sean: WELL, JULES,
I THINK THAT'S GREAT.
YOU CAN WORK OUT OF THE HOME
AND BE WITH THE KIDS,
AND I THINK THAT'S GREAT.
Julia: I CAN GO BACK TO SCHOOL
AND BE WITH THE KIDS, TOO, SEAN.
MY PRIORITIES AREN'T CHANGING
THAT GREATLY.
Sean, softly: CHRIST.
Matt: GOD. LOOK,
THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
WHY DON'T YOU GUYS JUST GO
TO MARRIAGE COUNSELING?
Julia: BECAUSE MARITAL
COUNSELING NEVER WORKS.
IT'S JUST A WAY FOR PEOPLE
TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO BREAK UP.
Matt: YEAH, WELL, YOU'RE HELPING
NO ONE BY DOIN'
WHAT YOU'RE DOIN'.
YOU GUYS NEED TO STOP DEALING
IN STUPID HALF-MEASURES AND
EITHER SHIT OR GET OFF THE POT.
Annie: HE SAID THE BROWN WORD.
Matt: OH, UH...YEAH, I DID.
I'M SORRY, HONEY.
SORRY.
Woman: SO...I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU
HERE IN A WHILE, CHRISTIAN.
YOU LOOK LIKE AN ALBINO.
[CHRISTIAN CHUCKLES]
Christian: I HAD
A WORK-RELATED INJURY.
BUT NOW I'M BACK ON MY GAME AND
RESUMING MY REGULAR ACTIVITIES.
Woman: CAN I, UM...INTEREST YOU
IN OUR MYSTIQUE TAN TODAY?
Christian: JUST A REGULAR BED
FOR ME, SWEETHEART.
I'M A TRADITIONALIST.
Woman: MMM.
HOW ABOUT SOME, UM...
TANNING ACCELERATOR LOTION,
THEN?
Christian: WELL, JANELLE...
IT ALL DEPENDS.
DOES IT COME
WITH AN APPLICATION?
Soundtrack: * IN THIS HAZE,
I SEE YOU... *
[EXCITED, PASSIONATE BREATHING]
Christian: DON'T WORRY.
I'LL TURN YOU OVER WHEN THE
TIMER GOES OFF.
[BOTH LAUGH]
Janelle: TOO EARLY
IN THE MORNING FOR YOU, BABY?
Christian: HELP ME OUT A LITTLE.
[JANELLE SIGHS]
[CHRISTIAN SIGHS]
Christian: OHHH...
[CHRISTIAN GROWLS WITH PLEASURE]
Woman echoing: CHRISTIAN,
CAN YOU HELP ME OUT HERE?
I'M GETTING LOCKJAW.
[JANELLE GIGGLES]
Christian: UHH!
[JANELLE LAUGHS]
[CHRISTIAN BREATHES SHARPLY]
Sean: DR. SANTIAGO, HOW LONG
HAVE YOU BEEN TREATING
THE DANTE SISTERS?
Dr. Santiago: 3 YEARS,
AT THE MIAMI FREE CLINIC.
I'M THE DIRECTOR THERE.
YOU KNOW, I THINK THAT PHYSICAL
CHANGE IS A LAST RESORT,
BUT IN THEIR CASE,
IT'S A NECESSARY ONE.
Sean: HOW SO?
Dr. Santiago: WELL, LAST YEAR,
THEY BOTH LOST THEIR VIRGINITY
TO THE SAME PERSON--
A 40-YEAR-OLD FETISHIST
THEY MET IN A TWINS CHAT ROOM
WHO PROMISED TO LOVE THEM
BOTH EQUALLY, AND HE DID.
AND AFTERWARDS THEY FELT
LIKE SHIT ABOUT IT, AND THAT'S
WHEN THEY DECIDED THAT THEY
WANTED TO BE DIFFERENT AND NOT
INTERCHANGEABLE.
HALF-MEASURES HAVE CEASED
TO WORK.
Sean: SO YOU DON'T BELIEVE
IN HALF-MEASURES.
Dr. Santiago: I BELIEVE
IN COMMITTING FULLY TO CHANGE.
IT'S THE COMMITMENT THAT BRINGS
CONSTRUCTIVE RESULTS.
I THINK THAT IF MANDI AND
RANDI CAN LOOK IN THE MIRROR
AND SEE SINGULAR REFLECTION,
ONLY THEN ARE THEY GOING TO BE
ABLE TO VIEW THEMSELVES
AS WHOLE AND NOT HALVES.
Sean: HMM.
Dr. Santiago: OH,
I'M STILL DEBATING.
GO AHEAD.
Sean: UH...
I'LL HAVE THE SEA BASS
AND A PELLIGRINO.
Dr. Santiago: AND I'LL HAVE
A HAMBURGER, FRIES,
AND A MARGARITA.
Waiter: YOU GOT IT.
Sean: YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'LL HAVE WHAT SHE'S HAVING.
Waiter: SURE.
Sean: I DON'T HAVE ANY SURGERIES
THIS AFTERNOON.
ONE MARGARITA WILL BE FINE.
YOU?
Dr. Santiago: OH.
I NEED TO DRINK.
I HAVE AN A.D.D. PATIENT
RIGHT AFTER THIS WHO SPENDS
HALF THE SESSION LINING UP
THE KLEENEX BOX JUST SO
AND THE REMAINING 20 MINUTES
RECOUNTING HOW HE OBSESSIVELY
THINKS ABOUT ME
WHILE HE'S MASTURBATING.
Sean: YOU MUST GET THAT A LOT.
ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER
PATIENTS.
Vanessa: MATT.
Matt: MMM? HMM?
Vanessa: I WANT TO TRY IT.
Matt: OH. OK.
Vanessa: WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
Matt: OH. UH...I WAS GONNA
GET A CONDOM.
Vanessa: I WANT TO SEE IT FIRST.
Matt: OK.
YEAH, SURE.
Vanessa: IT LOOKS LIKE
A SHAR-PEI.
ARE YOU PART ARAB OR SOMETHING?
Matt: UH...
NO.
DOES IT--
DOES IT TURN YOU OFF
THAT I'M NOT...
CIRCUMCISED?
Vanessa: NO. NOT AT ALL.
MAYBE WE SHOULD
JUST MAKE OUT TODAY.
Sean: THIS ISN'T
YOUR FATHER'S COFFEEPOT.
IT ACTUALLY GRINDS THE BEANS
IN THE MACHINE.
IT'S AMAZING WHAT YOU CAN AFFORD
WHEN YOU NIX A MARBLE STEAM ROOM
AND PUT THAT MONEY TOWARDS
SOMETHING MORE PRACTICAL.
Liz: THAT COST MORE THAN MY CAR.
WHAT A PERK IT WOULD'VE BEEN
TO HANG OUT IN HERE AND HAVE
A DOUBLE MACCHIATO
IN BETWEEN TIT JOBS.
Sean: A MACCHIATO, YOU SAY?
Liz: SEAN, WHY DID YOU
ASK ME HERE TODAY?
Sean: TO MAKE YOU AN OFFER.
IF YOU COME BACK,
I'LL DOUBLE YOUR SALARY.
Liz: OH. THAT SOUNDS
LIKE HUSH MONEY, SEAN.
Sean: YOU'RE AN INVALUABLE PART
OF THE TEAM, LIZ.
YOU'RE THE BEST ANESTHESIOLOGIST
I'VE EVER WORKED WITH.
AND AS AN ADDITIONAL BONUS,
I'LL THROW IN SOMETHIN'
YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED--
COMPLETE HEALTH BENEFITS
FOR YOUR PARTNER JEAN.
Liz: JAN.
Sean: I CAN'T WORK
THIS GODDAMN THING.
Liz: I'LL DO IT.
MMM.
JAN AND I BROKE UP.
Sean: I'M SORRY.
Liz: I'M NOT.
FOR 15 YEARS, I PUT UP
WITH HER POT SMOKING
AND HER CYNICISM...
AND FINALLY, 2 WEEKS AGO,
I JUST SAID, "HONEY, I LOVE YOU,
BUT I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU."
Sean: WHAT GOT IN YOU?
Liz: SOMEONE PUSHED A GUN
INTO MY TEMPLE.
YOU MIGHT REMEMBER THAT MOMENT.
SEAN, YOU WERE THERE.
Sean: I'VE NEVER REALLY...
APOLOGIZED FOR PUTTING YOU
IN THAT SITUATION, LIZ.
Liz: NO, YOU DIDN'T.
Sean: I'M SORRY.
Liz: IT'S ALL RIGHT, SEAN.
ACTUALLY...IT WAS THE BEST THING
THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME.
A SHIFT...
HAS HAPPENED...IN ME.
I CAN FEEL IT.
I BROKE UP WITH JAN BECAUSE
I WANT TO BE IN LOVE DEEPLY.
I SOLD MY CONDO.
I'M MOVING TO THE BEACH, 'CAUSE
THAT'S ALWAYS WHAT I'VE WANTED,
AND I FIGURED, "WHAT
ARE YOU WAITING FOR?"
WHAT HAPPENED THAT NIGHT
GOT ME THINKING.
WHAT IF I CAN'T PUT OFF STUFF
UNTIL TOMORROW BECAUSE
I DON'T GET ANOTHER TOMORROW?
Sean: I FELT SIMILARLY.
WHAT HAPPENED REALLY...
CHANGED MY OUTLOOK.
Liz: YEAH.
WELL...
THERE'S A BIG DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN CHANGING YOUR OUTLOOK
AND CHANGING YOUR LIFE, SEAN.
[COFFEE MACHINE HUMS]
Julia: WHERE ARE YOU GONNA STAY?
Sean: A HOTEL FOR TONIGHT,
AND THEN I DON'T KNOW.
Julia: THIS IS SO TYPICAL
OF YOU, SEAN.
YOU DON'T EVEN SHOW ME
THE RESPECT YOU SHOW A PATIENT.
I MEAN, AT LEAST WITH A PATIENT,
YOU TELL THEM WHAT THE DIAGNOSIS
IS BEFORE YOU OPERATE.
Sean: LET'S JUST CUT THE SHIT,
JULIA, STARTING RIGHT NOW.
YOU WANT OUT OF THIS MARRIAGE.
IF YOU DIDN'T,
YOU'D FIGHT FOR US.
BUT INSTEAD, ALL YOU DO
IS FIGHT WITH ME.
Julia: FIGHTING DENOTES
COMMUNICATION, SEAN,
WHICH YOU DON'T DO!
Sean: WE'VE TALKED IN CIRCLES!
I'M DIZZY FROM IT.
I HAVE NO PERSPECTIVE ANYMORE.
Julia: YOU'RE
A GODDAMN HYPOCRITE.
Sean: AND I AM MISERABLE
WITH YOU!
AND YOU ARE MISERABLE WITH ME,
AND THE BIG DIFFERENCE IS--
AND LET'S JUST SAY IT--YOU'RE
CONTENT IN YOUR MISERY, JULIA.
I'D RATHER SEPARATE AND TRY AND
FIGURE OUT A WAY TO MAKE US
CONNECT AGAIN.
WE HAVE TO CHANGE THIS,
OR WE DIE ON THE VINE.
AND IF YOU'RE TOO PARALYZED
TO TAKE ANY ACTION, I WILL.
Julia: WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS?
Sean: I'M NOT ABDICATING
MY ROLE AS A FATHER.
OF COURSE I'LL SEE THEM.
Julia: FOR ONE HOUR A WEEK,
LIKE YOU DO NOW?
DON'T I GET A SAY
IN ANY OF THIS?
Sean: YOU DO GET A SAY.
SAY YOU'RE STILL IN LOVE
WITH ME, AND I'LL STAY.
Sean: HAVE YOU EVER DONE TWINS?
Christian, fake accent:
MOTHER AND DAUGHTER ONCE, BUT
NEVER TWINS.
Sean: I LEFT LAST NIGHT.
I LEFT MY FAMILY.
I SWORE I WOULDN'T TURN INTO
MY ASSHOLE OF A FATHER, AND GOD
HELP ME...
Christian: HOW'D JULIA TAKE IT?
Sean: SHE'S HURT...
ANGRY, AFRAID.
Christian: YOU GONNA GET
A DIVORCE, OR IS THIS JUST
ANOTHER SEPARATION?
Sean: I JUST WANT TO FEEL
SOMETHING AGAIN.
Christian: HEY. CELEBRATE,
YOU DUMB MICK.
YOU'RE A SINGLE DOCTOR NOW.
TRANSLATION--ASS GALORE.
Sean: I CAN'T JUST TURN
INTO YOU, CHRISTIAN.
I'M NOT...THAT GUY.
Christian: NOW'S YOUR CHANCE.
Christian: WELCOME BACK.
Liz: AT DOUBLE THE SALARY,
HOW COULD A LADY REFUSE?
Soundtrack: * MAKE YOUR DESIRES
REALITY *
Sean: I'LL DO FACIAL,
YOU DO BODYWORK?
Soundtrack: * MAKE YOUR DESIRES
REALITY *
Christian: 10 BLADE.
Sean: SCALPEL.
Soundtrack: * MAKE YOUR DESIRES
REALITY *
* MAKE YOUR DESIRES REALITY *
Julia: IS IT FIXED?
Plumber: NO.
IT'S A WICKED, BIG CLOG.
I HAD TO RUN OUT
AND GET A BIGGER SNAKE.
Suzanne: DON'T BE EMBARRASSED,
JULIA.
JOE USED TO CLOG UP THE TOILET,
TOO, AND LEAVE IT FOR ME TO FIX.
YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT UNTIL THEY
LEAVE THAT YOU REALIZE
HOW MUCH YOU SETTLED.
[JULIA SIGHS]
[SNIFFLES]
Julia: I'M SORRY, SUZANNE.
UM, THE--WHY ARE WE PUTTING
THESE EYE MASKS IN OUR BASKETS?
Suzanne: YOU GET A HOT FLASH.
YOU PLOP IT OUT OF THE FRIDGE
AND ONTO YOUR EYES.
MENOPAUSAL WOMEN WILL LOVE THEM.
Plumber: MRS. McNAMARA.
Julia: YEAH?
Plumber: I FIXED YOUR CLOG.
AND...I FOUND THIS.
Suzanne: WHAT'S SHE GONNA DO
WITH A TURD, BRONZE IT?
JESUS!
Plumber: IT'S A GERBIL.
MY DAUGHTER HAS ONE.
Suzanne: ANNIE LOST HER GERBIL,
RIGHT?
I SAW THE SIGN OUTSIDE.
OHHH.
Julia: POOR FRISKY.
IT--IT MUST'VE...CLIMBED UP
AND FALLEN IN.
Suzanne: OHHH.
Plumber: NO, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
GERBILS CAN'T CLIMB PORCELAIN.
THERE'S NO TRACTION
FOR THEIR CLAWS.
SOMEBODY THREW THIS IN.
YOU KNOW, I SAW A BOY'S BIKE
OUTSIDE THE HOUSE.
YOU HAVE A TEENAGE SON.
ISN'T THAT RIGHT, MRS. McNAMARA?
I DON'T WANT TO FREAK YOU OUT
ABOUT THIS, BUT...
THEY SAY TED BUNDY
STARTED OUT THIS WAY...
TORTURING SMALL ANIMALS.
Suzanne: OH, MY GOD.
MATT.
Julia: MY SON DIDN'T DO IT.
I DID.
Suzanne: YOU ACCIDENTALLY
RAN IT OVER WHEN YOU WERE
VACUUMING OR SOMETHING. RIGHT?
AND--AND YOU DIDN'T
WANT ANNIE TO KNOW.
SEE? THAT EXPLAINS IT.
Julia: IT WASN'T AN ACCIDENT.
Plumber: THERE'LL BE NO CHARGE.
I DON'T WANT YOUR MONEY.
WHAT KIND OF MOTHER ARE YOU?
[RAP MUSIC PLAYING]
Matt: WHY WON'T YOU GIVE ME
THE CIRCUMCISION?
HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE TO KNOW.
Christian: CARVING UP YOUR DICK
IS A LITTLE MORE TELLTALE
THAN BUYING YOU A 6-PACK
ON THE SLY, MATTY.
Matt: UH, HI.
I'LL HAVE A, UH...
DEWAR'S STRAIGHT UP.
[CHRISTIAN CHUCKLES]
Christian: HE'LL HAVE A COKE.
I'LL HAVE THE DEWAR'S,
SWEETHEART.
THANK YOU.
BESIDES...
I'M OF THE OPINION THAT YOUR
FATHER'S RIGHT ABOUT THIS ONE.
YOU DON'T NEED A CIRCUMCISION.
Matt: FINE. IF YOU GUYS WON'T
HELP ME, I'LL GO
TO ANOTHER SURGEON.
Christian: WHO WILL OPERATE
WITHOUT A SIGNED
PARENTAL CONSENT FORM.
GOOD LUCK.
THE PROBLEM ISN'T YOUR DICK,
MATTY.
IT'S YOUR CONFIDENCE.
YOU WERE TIMID AND EMBARRASSED.
SHE SAW THAT, AND THAT'S
WHAT TURNED HER OFF.
Matt: THANKS.
UM...WHY ARE WE HERE?
Christian: BECAUSE "WE"...
ARE GONNA WORK
ON THE CONFIDENCE PART.
[MATT LAUGHS]
Christian, chuckling: YEAH.
Matt: YOU'RE KIDDING ME. RIGHT?
Christian: AU CONTRAIRE,
MY LITTLE VIRGINATOR.
I'VE ARRANGED FOR YOU TO JUST
GET IT OUT OF THE WAY.
A LITTLE BANG UNDER YOUR BELT,
AND I FIRMLY BELIEVE YOU'LL BE
ABLE TO BICYCLE OVER TO
VANESSA'S PLACE, GRAB THAT
PEACHY ASS, AND SHOW HER
HOW IT'S DONE...
WITH NO FEAR.
GIRLS DON'T CARE IF YOU HAVE
A 2-INCH PECKER, HAIRY ASS,
OR BALLS LIKE CRANBERRIES.
WHAT THEY CARE ABOUT IS THAT
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
[SIGHS]
SO, WHICH GIRL?
Christian: BEHIND ME
ON THE STAIRS.
HER NAME'S AVANTI.
RUMOR HAS IT SHE CAN SUCK
THE PEEL OFF AN APPLE.
Matt: I FEEL ENTIRELY CREEPY
ABOUT PAYING SOMEONE
TO PRETEND THEY LIKE ME.
[CHRISTIAN LAUGHS]
Matt: NO. HEY. BESIDES, MAN,
I'M NOT GONNA CHEAT ON VANESSA.
I LOVE HER.
HAVEN'T YOU EVER HAD THAT?
Christian: ONCE.
Avanti: HEY, PAPI.
Matt: UH, HEY.
Avanti: HEY.
Matt: AHEM...
[CHRISTIAN LAUGHS]
Matt: UH...YEAH.
UH, THANK YOU.
UM...BUT, UH...
NO.
NO, THANK YOU.
Christian: FAIR ENOUGH.
[SIGHS]
MMM. NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I'M GONNA GO UPSTAIRS AND PAY
SOMEONE TO PRETEND TO LIKE ME.
Soundtrack: * NOTHIN'
LIKE SEX *
[CONTINUING, INDISTINCT]
* ROUND AND ROUND *
[CONTINUING, INDISTINCT]
* ROUND IN A CIRCLE
LIKE A STAR *
[CONTINUES, INDISTINCT]
Avanti: WHAT'S WRONG, BABY?
YOU LIKE BOYS?
[CHRISTIAN SIGHS]
Julia: I THINK YOU LIKE BOYS.
[CHRISTIAN SIGHS]
Avanti: I THINK YOU LIKE BOYS.
[LAUGHS]
COME ON, BABY, WHY CAN'T YOU
GET CALIENTE?
Christian: BECAUSE YOU'VE GOT
A CARVED FACE, AND IN MY
ESTIMATION, THAT'S THE WORST
TIT JOB I'VE EVER SEEN.
HERE'S MY BUSINESS CARD.
YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE A WOMAN
INSTEAD OF A CARNIVAL FREAK,
CALL ME.
Sean: MR. BRANCATO,
I'VE INVITED
OUR PSYCHOLOGIST DR. PENDLETON
TO SIT IN ON OUR CONSULTATION.
MR. BRANCATO, TELL ME WHAT
YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF.
Brancato: IT'S MY DICK.
I HATE MY DICK.
Sean: YOU FEEL IT'S...
INADEQUATE?
Dr. Pendleton: WELL...
WOULD YOU LIKE TO SHOW US?
[MUSIC STARTS]
[MUSIC STOPS]
Sean: IT LOOKED LIKE ONE OF
THOSE SUMMER BLOOD SAUSAGES
YOU GET IN THE HICKORY FARMS
CHRISTMAS GIFT SAMPLER BASKETS.
[CHRISTIAN LAUGHS]
Christian: HOW MANY ENLARGEMENT
SURGERIES HAS THIS GUY
BEEN THROUGH?
Sean: 5. HE WANTS US TO HARVEST
FAT FROM HIS GLUTES AND
INJECT IT INTO HIS SHAFT.
IF HE CAN'T GO LONGER,
HE'LL GO WIDER.
Dr. Pendleton: DR. McNAMARA,
I TAKE ISSUE WITH YOUR
CONDESCENDING TONE.
MR. BRANCATO'S NOT
TO BE PITIED.
Sean: ARE YOU SAYING YOU'RE FOR
GIVING HIM THE OPERATION?
BECAUSE THAT WOULDN'T BE
MY RECOMMENDATION.
Christian: WHY, SEAN?
BECAUSE YOU FIND IT
PERSONALLY DISTURBING?
CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG, BUT
DIDN'T YOU HIRE DR. PENDLETON
TO MAKE RECOMMENDATIONS BASED
ON PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILING?
THAT'S WHAT HE'S DOING.
DR. PENDLETON,
AS YOU WERE SAYING...
Dr. Pendleton: WELL, WITH EVERY
OPERATION, AS HIS PENIS BECOMES
LARGER, MR. BRANCATO TAKES
A PERSONAL RISK.
IF HE NEEDS A SELF-ESTEEM BOOST
TO ACTUALLY MAKE A POSITIVE
CHANGE IN HIS LIFE,
I SAY WE GIVE IT TO HIM.
MMM.
NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I'M GONNA GO FOR A JOG AND LET
MY MISO DRESSING SET
FOR AN HOUR.
Christian: DR. PENDLETON.
I'D LIKE TO JOIN YOU,
IF YOU DON'T MIND.
Dr. Pendleton: OH.
THAT WOULD BE NICE.
THANK YOU.
Christian: I'LL CATCH UP.
Sean: IF YOU HAVE ISSUE
WITH SOMETHING I DO OR SAY,
TAKE IT UP WITH ME PRIVATELY,
NOT IN FRONT OF OUR STAFF.
Christian: ABSOLUTELY.
AND LIKEWISE, I'D APPRECIATE IT
IF YOU COULD, UH, SEND ME A MEMO
NOTIFYING ME OF STAFF SALARY
INCREASES.
IF CALLING MR. BRANCATO AND
SCHEDULING SURGERY IS, UH,
TOO DISTASTEFUL FOR YOU,
I'M HAPPY TO DO IT.
Sean: YOU AGREED WE NEEDED TO
RETHINK OUR ETHICAL PHILOSOPHY
HERE.
I'M DOING THAT.
Christian: YOU KNOW, I'M FINE
WITH HIRING A SHRINK AND DOING
PRO BONO AS LONG AS WE TAKE
ON OTHER CASES TO FINANCE
YOUR SAINTHOOD.
I'M PLAYING YOUR GAME, SEAN.
ONCE IN A WHILE, THROW ME
THE GODDAMN BALL.
Dr. Pendleton: REALLY?
SO...YOU'RE TELLIN' ME
YOU COULDN'T EVEN GET IT UP
FOR SOME HOT GEISHA GASH
LIKE THAT?
Christian: MY UROLOGIST SAYS
IT'S PSYCHOLOGICAL.
Dr. Pendleton: I'M--I'M SORRY,
CHRISTIAN.
I FEEL LIKE WE'RE CROSSIN'
THE PROFESSIONAL LINE HERE.
YOU'RE MY EMPLOYER.
Christian: THAT'S RIGHT.
I PAY YOUR SALARY.
SO GIVE ME MY MONEY'S WORTH.
Christian: I THINK I KNOW
WHY THIS IS HAPPENING.
I JUST, UH...
I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIX IT.
RECENTLY, A MARRIED WOMAN
THREW HERSELF AT MY JOCK.
I PASSED, BUT...
SINCE THEN I FIND MYSELF
THINKING ABOUT HER
WHENEVER I'M WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
SHE'S MENTALLY STALKING ME.
THE PROBLEM IS FURTHER
COMPLICATED BECAUSE SHE'S
THE WIFE OF ONE OF MY FRIENDS.
[DR. PENDLETON CLICKS TONGUE,
SPEAKS LATIN]
Christian: SORRY.
I WAS NEVER AN ALTAR BOY.
Dr. Pendleton: IT'S LATIN FOR
"THAT WHICH NOURISHES ME
DESTROYS ME."
YOU HAVE 2 CHOICES.
YOU CAN DESTROY YOUR FRIENDSHIP
AND NOURISH YOUR SEXUAL
APPETITE BY BANGING THE HORNY
HOUSEWIFE, OR YOU CAN NOURISH
YOUR FRIENDSHIP AND DESTROY
THE SEXUAL FANTASY
BY REJECTING HER.
AND ONCE YOU CHOOSE,
ONCE YOU'RE...FIRM...
THAT FEELING WILL BE
RECIPROCATED IN YOUR DOCKERS.
THAT'LL BE 150 BUCKS, AND I'M
NOT AVAILABLE THE ENTIRE MONTH
OF AUGUST.
[DR. PENDLETON CHUCKLES]
[CHRISTIAN SIGHS]
Julia: 3 SUGARS. RIGHT?
Christian: I DON'T DRINK COFFEE.
Julia: 3 SUGARS
IN YOUR ICED TEA.
NOW I REMEMBER.
I'LL GET SOME.
UH...DOES SEAN KNOW
YOU'RE, UH, STOPPING BY?
Christian: NO.
SHOULD WE CALL HIM AND TELL HIM?
THANKS.
[JULIA SIGHS]
Christian: LOOK, UH...
ABOUT THE OTHER DAY...
MY EXAM WAS UNPROFESSIONAL,
AND...I APOLOGIZE.
Julia: OH, DON'T.
YOU...SAVED ME FROM A--
AN EXCRUCIATING OPERATION.
I'M THE ONE WHO SHOULD BE SORRY
FOR NOT CALLING YOU
WHEN YOU WERE SICK.
THE BELL'S PALSY THING?
Christian: RIGHT.
UH...A FEW WEEKS OF ANTIVIRALS
LATER, I'M BACK ON MY GAME.
Julia, chuckling: AND A LEGION
OF THONG-WEARING COCKTAIL
WAITRESSES REJOICE.
[CHUCKLE TURNS TO TEARS]
SORRY.
Christian: HEY, IT'S OK.
[JULIA SNIFFLES]
Christian: YOU WERE MARRIED
ALMOST 16 YEARS.
Julia: NO, I'M NOT CRYING
ABOUT HIM.
THEY KICKED ME OUT.
Christian: WHO?
Julia: THE MOTHERS
IN MY KINDERGARTEN CARPOOL.
SUZANNE TOLD THEM WHAT HAD
HAPPENED, AND THEN THEY SAID
THEY FELT NERVOUS ABOUT TRUSTING
THEIR KIDS' SAFETY
TO A MURDERER.
Christian: BACK UP.
WHO GOT KILLED?
Julia: FRISKY.
Christian: FRISKY THE GERBIL?
Julia: YES!
AND...I DON'T KNOW.
IT JUST KEPT SHITTING,
AND I FELT...OVERWHELMED,
AND I...FLUSHED HIM.
I'M A TERRIBLE PERSON.
Christian: YOU'RE NOT
A TERRIBLE PERSON.
I JUST THINK YOU MAKE BAD,
IF UNDERSTANDABLE CHOICES
SOMETIMES.
YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF THAT.
COME ON.
DRINK MY TEA AND SIT WITH ME.
Christian: WHAT HAPPENED TO THE
GIRL I KNEW WHO WAS THE MOST
CONFIDENT THING I EVER SAW...
WHO WAS, AND IS, BY THE WAY,
GOING BACK TO MEDICAL SCHOOL?
WHO USED TO SING AT THE TOP OF
HER LUNGS TO FLEETWOOD MAC EVEN
THOUGH SHE WAS TONE-DEAF?
[JULIA CHUCKLES]
WHO MADE ME FORGET THERE WAS
EVER ANOTHER GIRL IN THE ROOM.
Julia: I MISS US...
THE WAY WE USED TO BE.
Christian: THEN LET'S FIX THAT.
TOMORROW.
7:00.
MY PLACE. WE'LL, UM...
WE'LL GRILL STEAKS AND GET
SHIT-FACED ON MERLOT.
Julia: OK.
Christian: YOU'RE STILL IN
THERE.
I SEE YOU EVEN IF YOU DON'T.
SHIT.
I GOTTA GO CHECK ON A COUPLE OF
PATIENTS. AHEM.
Julia: WELL...
[CHRISTIAN CHUCKLES]
Julia: ARE YOU...
Christian: HARD?
YEAH.
WE'LL PICK THIS UP TOMORROW
NIGHT.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
[RING]
Matt: HELLO!
Sean: HEY, MATT. UH...
I WAS WONDERING IF YOU WERE FREE
FOR LUNCH TOMORROW?
I'LL PICK YOU UP AT SCHOOL.
WE CAN GO TO JOE STONECRAB'S.
YOU LIKE THAT PLACE, RIGHT?
Matt: UH, TOMORROW'S NO GOOD FOR
ME, DAD.
Sean: OK. HOW 'BOUT FRIDAY?
I NEED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT
WHAT'S HAPPENING TO OUR FAMILY,
MATT.
Matt: LOOK, WE DON'T NEED TO
PLAY CATCH-UP.
I GET IT.
YOU AND MOM CAN'T STAND EACH
OTHER ANYMORE.
YOU BAILED.
WE'LL, UH--WE'LL TALK LATER, OK?
I GOTTA, UH--I GOTTA STUDY.
[GIRL MURMURING, SOBBING]
Mandi: HE DIDN'T NOTICE ME.
Christian: WHO DIDN'T NOTICE
YOU?
Mandi: THE MALE NURSE!
WHEN HE CAME IN, HE DIDN'T EVEN
LOOK AT ME!
SHE'S PRETTIER THAN ME NOW!
SHE'S PRETTIER!
[SOBBING]
Christian: I THINK YOU
MISUNDERSTOOD, SWEETHEART.
Mandi: I'M MANDI!
DON'T CALL ME SWEETHEART 'CAUSE
YOU CAN'T REMEMBER MY NAME!
[SOBBING]
Randi: SHH! MANDI. SHH.
WE JUST--WE JUST WANNA GO BACK
TO THE WAY WE WERE.
AND...WE WANNA BE TREATED THE
SAME.
PLEASE HELP US?
PLEASE?
Sean: THIS IS MATT.
HE'S 16, GOING ON 40.
AND THIS IS ANNIE.
SHE'S 7.
[DR. SANTIAGO LAUGHS]
IS YOUR SON THE MAILMAN'S?
Sean: YEAH, WE LAUGH ABOUT THAT.
MY WIFE, WHO--WHO I'M SEPARATED
FROM, IS BLACK-IRISH ON HER
FATHER'S SIDE.
MY DAUGHTER LOOKS LIKE HER, TOO.
Dr. Santiago: ACTUALLY, SHE
LOOKS A LOT LIKE YOU.
SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.
YOU KNOW, THIS REALLY WASN'T
NECESSARY.
THIS PLACE IS EXPENSIVE.
Sean: YOU HELPED ME A LOT WITH
THE DANTE TWINS.
IT'S THE LEAST I COULD DO.
ACTUALLY...
I HOPE TO DO IT AGAIN.
Dr. Santiago: I'D--I'D LIKE
THAT.
Dr. Santiago: WHAT ARE YOU
DOING?
Sean: WAS I--
DID I READ SOMETHING WRONG HERE?
I THOUGHT--I THOUGHT THERE WAS
AN ATTRACTION THING GOING ON.
Dr. Santiago: INTERESTING,
BECAUSE I THOUGHT WE WERE BEING
PROFESSIONALS.
DID YOU THINK THAT I KEPT
MEETING WITH YOU BECAUSE I
WANTED TO GET LAID?
I THOUGHT YOU RESPECTED ME.
Sean: I DO.
Dr. Santiago: NO.
APPARENTLY, YOU DON'T.
YOU KNOW, I ACTUALLY THOUGHT
THAT THESE SECOND OPINIONS COULD
LEAD TO BETTER WORK.
MOST PEOPLE, THEY GET PAID FOR
THEIR CONSULTATIONS.
Sean: PLEASE DON'T. JUST--
Dr. Santiago: IF MY SHARE IS
MORE THAN THAT, BILL ME.
Christian: SO...WHEN ARE YOU
GONNA START DATING AGAIN?
Sean: DATING?
I'M NOT DATING.
WHO'S DATING?
CORPSE ISN'T EVEN COLD.
Christian: BELIEVE ME, SEAN,
I UNDERSTAND.
CHANGE IS HARD.
SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED A STRONG
JOLT TO MOVE FORWARD.
Sean: BY JOLT YOU MEAN SHOCK?
Christian: YES.
LIKE FINDING OUT THAT JULIA IS
DATING AGAIN.
MAYBE THAT WOULD MAKE IT EASIER
FOR YOU TO GET BACK ON THE
HORSE.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW IF SHE
WAS DATING AGAIN?
Sean: IS SHE?
Christian: HOW WOULD I KNOW?
I HAVEN'T TALKED TO HER.
I'M JUST...MUSING,
THEORETICALLY.
Sean: NO, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW
IF SHE'S DATING.
I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT WOULD
KILL ME.
Dr. Pendleton: DR. McNAMARA,
CONGRATULATIONS!
Sean: FOR WHAT?
Dr. Pendleton: FOR OPERATING ON
JOE BRANCATO AND ADMITTING
YOUR MISTAKE.
TAKING OWNERSHIP OF PERSONAL
ERROR IS THE FIRST STEP TOWARD
HEALTHY GROWTH AND CHANGE.
GOOD JOB, BUDDY.
Sean: DR. PENDLETON.
YOU'RE FIRED.
Matt: SO, YOU LOOK SPIFFY.
[JULIA LAUGHS]
WHERE YOU OFF TO TONIGHT?
Julia: I HAVE A BUSINESS DINNER
WITH SUZANNE.
I SHOULD BE BACK BY 10:00.
DINNER'S IN THE FRIDGE.
HEAT IT UP FOR 5 MINUTES AT 350.
AND, MATT, DON'T SHOW ANNIE
THE EXORCIST AGAIN.
Matt: SHE NEEDS TO KNOW THAT
EVIL EXISTS.
OK. OK.
Julia: LOOK...
I KNOW YOUR DAD AND I SEPARATING
REALLY SUCKS FOR YOU.
I'M SORRY WE DIDN'T DO THIS
BETTER.
Matt: OH, HEY, MOM.
UM...DO YOU HAVE ANY CUTICLE
SCISSORS?
Julia: WHY DO YOU NEED THOSE?
Matt: WHY DO YOU THINK?
I HAVE A HANGNAIL.
Julia: UPSTAIRS BATHROOM.
THIRD DRAWER ON THE RIGHT.
Sean: I'VE BEEN WAITING OUT HERE
FOR AN HOUR.
WHY'D YOU TELL THE GUARD NOT TO
LET ME IN?
Dr. Santiago: FUNNY. I'VE HAD
STALKERS BEFORE, BUT THEY WERE
PATIENTS, NOT FELLOW DOCTORS.
Sean: LOOK, THAT GUY LAST
NIGHT, THAT WASN'T ME.
I HAVEN'T HAD A DATE SINCE
REAGAN WAS IN OFFICE.
I'M BAD AT IT.
Dr. Santiago: WHAT DO YOU WANT?
Sean: TO TELL YOU HOW SORRY
I AM.
IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dr. Santiago: I DON'T WANT YOUR
APOLOGIES.
Sean: THEN HOW 'BOUT A JOB?
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]
Julia: CHRISTIAN?
* AND THEN AGAIN,
YOU CAN BE COLD AS ICE,
I'M OVER MY HEAD,
OH, OH, OH,
BUT IT SURE FEELS NICE *
Randi: HI.
Mandi: HI.
* I'LL BE AROUND
IF YOU THINK YOU MIGHT
LOVE ME, BABY... *
Christian: I THOUGHT WE SAID
7:30.
Julia: 7:00.
WE SAID 7:00.
DID YOU THINK IT WAS EASY FOR ME
TO COME HERE?
Christian: WHAT DID YOU THINK
YOU WERE COMING OVER HERE FOR?
I'M SORRY YOU HAD TO CATCH ME
IN THE MIDDLE OF A DOUBLEMINT
MOMENT BACK THERE.
BUT LET'S NOT FOOL OURSELVES.
THAT'S WHO I AM,
ALWAYS WILL BE.
YOU WANT A REGULAR FRIDAY NIGHT
DATE AND A FATHER FOR YOUR KIDS?
STAY WITH SEAN.
Julia: WHEN DID YOU BECOME SO
CRUEL?
Julia: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Sean: I'M MOVING BACK IN.
MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO CHANGE ME,
BUT I CAN CHANGE ME IN THIS
MARRIAGE.
I REALIZE I'M NOT A SINGLE GUY
WHO WANTS A NEW LIFE.
I'M A MARRIED MAN WHO WANTS TO
FIX THIS FAMILY.
THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO.
Julia: I DON'T WANT A FIX.
I WANT YOU OUT.
I WANT YOU TO TAKE YOUR
PETTINESS AND YOUR CONTROL
ISSUES AND YOUR SAD, LONELY
MIDLIFE CRISIS AND GET OUT OF
MY HOUSE!
AND NOTICE I SAID MY HOUSE,
SEAN...BECAUSE I'M NOT SELLING
IT AND SPLITTING THE DIFFERENCE
WHEN WE GET A DIVORCE.
THIS IS NOT CALIFORNIA, BUDDY.
I PUT YOU THROUGH MEDICAL
SCHOOL, AND THIS IS ALL I HAVE
TO SHOW FOR IT.
Sean: YOU WANT A DIVORCE?
Julia: YEAH!
YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY, SEAN.
YOU'LL BE LEGALLY FREE TO SCREW
EVERY HOT 20-YEAR-OLD THAT
WALTZES THROUGH YOUR OFFICE.
HOW IT MUST KILL YOU THAT
CHRISTIAN GETS THE PICK OF THE
LITTER.
Sean: HEY, HEY, HEY, CALM DOWN.
Julia: LET GO OF ME!
Sean: I DON'T WANNA SCREW
AROUND.
Julia: YEAH? WELL, MAYBE I DO.
YOU ALWAYS WERE A LOUSY LAY,
SEAN.
Sean: OH, YEAH?
Julia: YEAH.
Sean: YOU'RE EITHER A LIAR OR A
VERY GOOD ACTRESS.
I KNOW YOUR BODY.
I ALWAYS HAVE.
I KNOW RIGHT WHERE YOU LIVE AND
BREATHE.
Julia: THEN WHY HAVEN'T I HAD AN
ORGASM IN 2 YEARS?
Sean: BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANNA
WORK THAT HARD.
[BOTH BREATHING HARD]
Julia: OHH!
Sean: RIGHT THERE.
THAT'S WHERE YOU LIKE IT, ISN'T
IT?
Joey: HEY, HOW'S IT GOING?
YOU'VE LOGGED ON TO JOEY'S
SELF-CIRCUMCISION WEB PAGE, A
GUIDE FOR GUYS LIKE ME WHO HAVE
A FORESKIN PROBLEM AND ARE TOO
EMBARRASSED TO HAVE THEIR DOCTOR
DO THE DUTY.
FIRST THINGS FIRST, GUYS.
RELAX.
A SHAKING HAND MEANS YOU COULD
SLIP.
I TOOK A MILD MUSCLE RELAXANT,
BUT OTHER GUYS I KNOW HAVE FARED
WELL ON A GLASS OF RED WINE.
BE SMOOTH AND CONFIDENT.
YOUR SURGICAL TOOLS HAVE TO BE
SHARPENED TO RAZOR SHARPNESS.
WHEN YOU DO THIS, THE CUTS ARE
VIRTUALLY PAINLESS AND BLEED
VERY LITTLE.
I DIDN'T USE ICE OR ANYTHING.
THERE WAS NO NEED.
FOR THE FIRST CUT, GRIP THE
FORESKIN AND PULL IT OUT.
CUT IN A CIRCULAR MOTION,
REMOVING A THIN QUARTER-INCH
STRIP.
[SNIP]
[CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
--www.ncicap.org--]
* MAKE ME BEAUTIFUL *
* LIFE *